Malana cream – for people who want “real” high
We are not going to assume that you know what “malana cream” is. In this article you will come to know of:
- What is Malana cream?
- Where do we find it?
- Why is it so special?
- What are the alternatives?
This article is related to a cream that gets you high. If you are not 18 years old yet, please read it on or after your 18th birthday. Just kidding – We won’t know if you are 18 or not. So we can’t do anything much about it.
What is Malana cream?
Imagine this. An old lady walks into a field or a garden (looks like one) and selectively takes out few buds from a few plants and comes back. For people who are so concerned about personal hygiene, please do not imagine hereafter. The lady then rubs the flower buds with all her might in her bare hands. What you are about to buy is sticking on to her palms. That my friend – is the malana cream.
If you are lucky, the farmer lady might even sing a song while preparing your cream. For them it is daily routine. Thousands of youngsters visit the place (coming up in the next paragraph) just to get it fresh without anything else mixed in it.
Where do we find Malana Cream?
Malana is a beautiful village in the foothills of Himachal Pradesh. Usually in winters the village is difficult to access due to the snow and some taxi drivers will hesitate to drive there. So on those circumstances you might have to walk around 16 kilometres but that is totally worth it. And one more thing to be noted is that you are not allowed to touch anything that belongs to the people of Malana. They consider themselves to be superior. They believe they are the children of Alexander the great and we are not there for arguing that. Shopkeepers will place the products on the table and you are supposed to place the money on the table and not on their hands. Strange practices occur there but they are very much traveller friendly.
Why is it so special?
People think that getting high means you have to get unconscious and dream like you are on the next Mars mission. Completely wrong. There are drugs like the Flakka, which will unleash the Hulk in you and within few hours will put you in jail. Then there is the second category which puts you in the mood where you feel like the happiest person on Earth. You can experience a whole new level of getting high but you can still work in your office and nobody will even notice. But you on the inside will feel like all the beautiful angels are carrying you across heaven.
There are a few weed suppliers who will give you something that will get you high but will taste like vomit. Malana cream does not belong to that type also. It is not that strong tasting. Stoners who know their weed can distinguish the smell of the cream but for others it might smell like some cheap perfume.
What are the malana cream alternatives?
The only competition to Malana cream in India is the Kerala Gold or “Idukki” Gold. Obtained only in Kerala and a few states surrounding it, Kerala Gold is becoming extremely rare to find because of the state’s increasing law enforcement on weed and related things. Two warnings before you go hunting for Kerala Gold:
- Be specific about what you ask. Kerala Gold will get you high while Black Gold will get you a bag full of high quality pepper.
- Be specific about who you ask. Getting caught by Kerala police is something I would not recommend.
Malana Cream Price:
The villagers sell Malana cream in units named “Tola”. One tola of the cream will cost around 1000 INR if you are going to the village and buy it. People in Noida and Gurgaon report that it costs around 2500 INR. For the party people in Goa it sells at 4000 INR. But then it all depends on your bargaining skills. Better learn how to Bargain from housewives and then proceed to buy Malana cream.
Stats for the nerds:
We at information bazar have a friend who reads the ingredients of beer before drinking. So we are going to assume every gang has that kind of person and share some science related stuff.
Malana cream is extracted from plants. So friends from PETA can also try it. It is extracted from the flower buds of Indica a plant belonging to the cannabis family.
The main component that produces high is Tetra-hydro-cannabinol (TTH). ;k;lkjhgfweqw contains more than 35% of TTH so that is something you can enjoy.
People who have been smoking weed for years will know of the magazine “High times”. It regularly conducts the championship competition for the “Cannabis cup”. The Malana cream has won it two times (1994 and 1996).
There is a fine line between getting high and getting addicted. If you want to understand the differences take a drunk man lying on the road. All over the world people drink but not all end up like him. The quality of the alcohol/weed matters and also the quantity. Even coffee, if drunk in large quantities, can kill you. Don’t get fooled by trying cheap stuff some people sell. Don’t cross your body’s limits. Stay safe, live to smoke weed another day. Ciao.